I know from personal experience that you don’t even have to read the book to get an A.
I barely read a single book (mainly because I have a problem with authority) I was “assigned” to read throughout high school and college and still got a 4.0 in every English class I’ve ever taken.
How I Learned to Write
When I was told to read a book it was almost impossible for me to get through the first couple pages. So, like every slacker student, I quickly figured out how to bullshit.
Not only did I bullshit, but I did it with style.
My junior year of high school I was assigned an enormous final project of comparing two deeply philosophical plays (Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf and Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit) and researching their similarities. Not only did I not read either book, but I wrote a 21 page paper riddled with quotes detailing every intricacy between the two books.
The grade I got back? An incomplete.
Why? Because they accused me of plagiarism because my ideas didn’t seem like they could have possibly been written by a 16-year old boy.
After I explained to them that the paper had been written by me and had not been taken from some unknown scholar, they gave me an A. Then I started figuring out how I wrote a paper so well without having read more than a summary of the two plays. Here’s what I came up with.
10 steps to writing a great paper without ever reading the book
- Analyze the assignment. If you’re given a question that is vague and open-ended, then the professor is looking for insights and ideas. On the other hand, if it’s more of a detailed question, the professor is probably trying to hone your analytical skills. Make sure you thoroughly pick the question apart before you start writing.
- Get an idea of what you’re doing. At least read the summary of the book. Here are a few good sources:
- Cliff’s Notes
- Spark Notes
- Pink Monkey
- Or an aggregator like Free Book Notes which searches all of the above sites plus a ton more
- If all else fails, try Wikipedia.
- Find the era the book was written in and find relations. If the book you’re reading was written during the Holocaust, there might be a relation between that time and the swastika on the main character’s arm. Make sure you do a little research about the time period so you don’t miss vital themes.
- Find out a bit about the author. If your author is someone like George Orwell, you might have a politically charged allegory on your hands. Edgar Allen Poe? Probably a drug infused ode to a lost lover. Whatever is going on in the author’s life at the time will affect their work.
- Look for themes. This is the most important step to making your paper stand out. If from your summary you find that all blue-eyed characters are evil and all brown-eyed characters are good, then that says something. Find the underlying theme of your project and find a way to tie it into the assignment.
- Get a basic knowledge of the main characters. There really is no need to remember their names (unless their name is Jesus or something), but only their roles. In fact, I had an English professor that let us just write the first initial of the character’s name and then a line to indicate the rest of it.
One time had forgotten the main character’s name and went up during a written test and said to the teacher, “I forgot how to spell the main character’s name.”
To which she replied, “That’s ok, just write the first letter and then a line, I’ll know who you’re talking about.”
Calmly I said, “That’s the thing. I forgot the first letter.”
Whatever character you focus on, you should figure out their purpose and how they fit the storyline, then follow the themes they portray.
- Validate your point. You have to use quotes and instances to make your point actually hit home. Otherwise you’re rambling and putting “fluff” into your paper, which makes it suck. So how do you find instances and quotes?
- Amazon’s Search Inside. First find your book, then using the Search Inside, you can look for a specific phrase or word. The clever system will give you every page the word or phrase shows up on.
- Listen to whoever’s giving the assignment. They will probably give a hint in discussion or assigning the paper.
- The question. Check out what the question is asking and see if it leads to any specific happenings in the book.
- The summaries. When you read through the summary of the book make sure to take note when things happen so that you can go back and pull quotes from that specific section.
- Amazon’s Search Inside. First find your book, then using the Search Inside, you can look for a specific phrase or word. The clever system will give you every page the word or phrase shows up on.
- Make connections to deeper levels. Here’s where the good stuff comes. Once you have your theme, connect it to outside sources. Make it grand and make it poignant. Whether the character’s identity represents the lack of identity or the story is an allegory of the Bible, you have to make your point stick.
- If you know the grader’s viewpoint, argue for it or against it STRONGLY. Obviously, they have heard their own argument for however they view the novel. Then they’ve heard every brown-noser’s uninspired interpretation that fits exactly what they were told to believe about the novel.
One of my English professors thought every story had an underlying theme about sexuality. So I wrote my paper supporting virginity and purity. I admit, it wasn’t the best paper I’ve ever written, but she gave me an A because she had never heard any of the ideas I posed before in that context.
A good professor will not only welcome opposing viewpoints, but also give you a better grade for TRYING to write a difficult paper. Just make sure your argument is solid and packs a punch.
- Cut out the fat. Professors are smart. They can smell bullshit a mile away. So don’t ramble on about an off-topic idea you have. Keep it close to the summary you have and make sure you connect ideas.
Even if you read the book, these main points are going to save you so much time and effort. Plus, you will always get a better grade if you use these steps.
FAQ
- Wouldn’t it be easier and faster just to read the book? First of all, this guide is about not HAVING to read the book. Secondly, if you insist on reading the book and you want to have a great paper, you should be doing everything I mentioned anyway. So, you’re really doing twice the work for the same grade. Finally, please feel free to read some of the awesome comments on this post that address this issue.
- Why should I take the writing advice of a graphic designer? If I hadn’t already covered this in the article and my grades, then this could possibly persuade you: I write screenplays, this blog, novels, and short stories. In addition, I edit, proof, and write national press releases and publications.
- Isn’t this cheating? Absolutely not. In fact, like many of my readers have stated, you will have a better understanding than someone who just reads the book and you will be able to formulate and create connections far beyond the things you read about the book. Cheating would be going to a site online and copying a paper you didn’t write.
-Ravi Vora
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Bravo… Not only do I approve, but I’d like to add that if you do this, you might even end up with a better understanding of the given book, and more importantly, a better experience of it, than if you had actually read it.
This is due to the fact that ideas can more easily be appreciated than specific writings, that one (contrary to the idea) might not enjoy.
The most important point is the last one (the note)!
Mark - Very true. Sometimes I will write the paper and find out the book seems amazingly intricate on a deeper level, then I am enticed to read it after I’ve written the paper.
This is an incredible way to write a paper. Actually it appears you may wind up doing more reading while researching than actually reading the book itself. If life were simply about getting A’s on papers I would say you can stop with what you have summarized and never have to read another book in your life. However, I feel it’s important to encourage all students to actually read the books they are asked to read. If you are always using others opinions to develop your own then you never actually think for yourself… and that’s no way to go through life. Researching is great, but reading the actual book is better, because let’s face it, an A on a paper isn’t what makes you “intelligent”.
It almost seems that it would be just as easy to read the damn thing and write the essay, considering all the research you do. Also, you strike me as a smart guy thus, you can get away with it. Most people will be in a world of utter confusionand most likely fail. Kudos for the insight though.
Are you kidding me? I mean, are you freaking kidding me? Here’s a two step process that tends to yield much more reliably good results:
1. READ THE F___ING BOOK.
2. Write the essay.
Done.
Enjoyed the post. Once a student is working for money rather than grades, the skills you outline - which are the application of context, sythesis and analysis - are more important than the ability to sit quietly and read everything you want to read.
Either way you go, reading it or BSing it, the whole idea of English papers like this is learning to find potential meaning in a story. If you can somehow tie, say, The Grapes of Wrath into being allegorical of a young hermaphrodite’s budding sexuality, well, if you can reasonably support it, I’ll give you more credit than the great depression would ever get you.
You sure gave you a lot of work! I thinck reading the book would have been much quicker!
Good points. But too much effort. Another approach would be to have a research firm compile research materials for you, you evaluate the materials, and come up with your own version. Much faster. Costs a little bit more but much faster and higher likelihood of getting an A+
It’s a great idea, I have to say. My main reason for agreeing here is that just reading a book doesnt mean you understand it, or can form a good essay from it, which is my main problem; I can read a book, enjoy it and still be left in the dark about how the hell im going to write about it. This method actually encourages understanding, and after that you can read it and enjoy it fully, having an understanding of it.
Great guide, if you can be bothered doing the research.
Seems like too much work for the truly lazy.
My guide, followed by myself before there was internet:
Read Star Trek novels in class.
Skim the passages of the book that might be required for pop quizzes.
Read the Cliff’s Notes of the book.
Write the essay the night before, in handwriting on notebook paper.
Re-write it again without all the scribbles.
Every teacher I had said they could spot a Cliff’s Notes essay a mile away, and even had gimmicks to figure out if we’d cheated by reading them, but none of them ever did.
I have a bachelor’s in English Lit.
You’re doing way too much. But you probably know more than I do about all those books you didn’t read. Kudos!
If you’re going to read the book and then write the essay, you should be doing all of these steps IN ADDITION anyway. So really, it’s not more reading nor is it more time consuming.
For the lazy man, however, you will not only get a better understanding than your fellow classmate, but you will only need to read the summary of the section you’ve decided to target after analyzing the question.
Finally, it is even easier if you read the few passages in the book to deeply analyze the text and saves you much more time than reading the entire book.
I have written 5 page papers in 1 hour using this method, so I know it works.
If you practice this method it will increase your comprehension and understanding as well as begin to make you a much faster writer and analytical thinker. Like everything, it will get easier and faster with practice.
As an English/Creative writing Major at a University, I’ve learned that whether you’ve read the book or not read the book, writing a good paper always come down to the art of bullshitting.
Love the article.
Surely it would be quicker and make more sense to just read the book?
What you’re really advocating is understanding the theme - you’re not talking about cheating or plagiarizing, you’re talking about understanding it. You’re doing a lot of derivative thought here and after all a book or novel is about understanding ideas.
To the person who said, “read the book. done.” Get over it - if the idea is the idea, then it doesn’t much matter how you get the idea. To the person who suggested it would be quicker to read the book, perhaps, but then you might not “get it” as well. To each his own, but this is a guide to processing information in a different way. Kudos.
I does not against alternative ways to write essay using those techniques described but if we rethink, reading the book would not be that bad after all right?
Sometimes reading is more than stuffing information into our memory banks but rather enjoying the story within and perhaps it might able to give us fresh ideas and thoughts about other aspects of life?
Enjoy reading and be smart on assignment. Cheers!
After doing all that work, doesn’t it make you want to read the book?
wow! it looks like MORE WORK than actually READING THE BOOK.
more to the point, it looks like work you enjoyed doing.
please help us — the older generation — help YOU. we come from the past. we mean you no harm.
i am, among other things, a teacher looking for ways to help my students learn in the way they do best, not in the way I once did best . . . .
Mo Morrissey - You nailed it. This article is about understanding the book better than if you get lost in the minute details.
Of course if you enjoy the themes you find, you should go back and read it. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to read the book, I’m just saying it’s going to be better for you if you ENJOY reading the book.
How about reading the book FIRST? It’s a BOOK. Getting “lost in the minute details” is the POINT.
Mo M said “this is a guide to processing information in a different way” and you seem to agree — but reading a work of fiction (presumably all we’re talking about here) is not “processing information”. If you think that getting the “A” is the point, you’re sadly, sadly mistaken.
Just because you CAN bullshit the world doesn’t mean that you SHOULD. I hope you realize that someday.
Mo Morissey definitely hit the nail on the head.
This is true. I’ve been doing this for two years before I even saw this page. If you use your brain, are good at skimming for quotations when they’re required, and can use Sparknotes intelligently, it is much faster than reading the book. I am an English + History double major, and I have read maybe 3 or 4 whole books over the past 2 years. If you attend class, takes notes in lecture, and do the above, you are well on your way.
ROFL
I’m a few months away from getting a Ph.D. in English Lit. Your method, as others have said, is far more research than most of the people who read the book actually do.
[shakes head]
I can’t advocate not reading the book. Hell, if I didn’t like reading the books, I wouldn’t be a literature professor.
But I always did everything you describe…I just topped it off by reading the book. All that stuff is great for getting a solid footing before tackling something dense.
And I would bet that Sam character up there in the comments that I could spot a Cliffs Notes essay. It comes from reading the Cliffs Notes yourself to find out what’s in them. Most teachers don’t bother because they’re too good at Lit. to have resorted to Cliffs Notes as students.
Jamie
This is in response to JAIME:
Oct 18th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Are you kidding me? I mean, are you freaking kidding me? Here’s a two step process that tends to yield much more reliably good results:
1. READ THE F___ING BOOK.
2. Write the essay.
Done.
———————
Fine, read the book, write the essay, DONE? get an F FOR not following your intuition!
RAVI:
Great JOB!!!!!
If you added one more step…namely…READ THE BOOK, you would be the best freakin’ essayist in the world.
Somehow it seems so much easier to do all that than to sit down and read a book you have no interest in in the first place. I was in the International Baccalaureate program, and my teacher was a novelist with a few published books, so I assumed those people knew what they were doing, but I totally bullshitted the entire English program and finished high school with honors specifically for my essays. hah
I mean, this is a good rubric. :)
Wouldn’t it be less work to just do the reading?
I got a way to get that A. Which is much easier. Read the book, think, and write your essay. Hide the answers in your mind.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. The papers that turned out to be stellar were always the ones I failed to read the material on. It’s all about writing to their ego’s and if you don’t defending the opposite view with intelligence and research.
Great article.
Cheeky but true! LOL. The only English teacher who will tell you that! ;)
Sounds good until you consider the disproportionate impact on women and minorities.
Educators believe in quantity.
I remember taking two summer courses — the first half of British Lit and the second half of British Lit. Get this: I took them simultaneously — 6 - 8 p.m., then 8 - 10 p.m. And get this: They were four-week courses.
Obviously, I remember just about nothing from these experiences.
I don’t think the attempt to deliver British Literature, American Literature, History of Western Civilization I and II, etc are doable. Who here could possibly disagree?
And yet, in a four-year period, we’re supposed to learn much more than a normal person can handle. How does this make us educated???
Ravi Vora is just trying to cope with the irrational.
We need to scale back, go into depth in just a few areas. That’s all that can be realistically done in four short years. The best one can hope for is that students will gain an appreciation of the potential for the liberal arts to make them better.
Good blog but it doesnt teach the hardest part: How to get the information on to paper.
The easiest way to write a letter, paper or contract for that matter is to turn on the outline format in Word.
Then write down your thoughts as different bullets. If they dont logically follow one another dont worry. After writing you then copy and paste the bullets in a logical order. Delete useless items and add new ones.
Once you have cut and pasted for a while and added items to make a flow of logic, then turn off the outlining format. You now have logical sequencing of a paragraph.
The topmost item becomes your opening sentence and the last your closing sentence to the paragraph.
Your writing will be concise and orderly.
right, i Have to say this DOES work, and i have done the exact thing you described in the past. but here’s the catch. in your technique, you take a limited amount of information about the book and in a way taking it out of context so that you can ake yourself support a thesis of your choice. this might come in handy, but you’re learning how to make yourself have an opinion, not letting yourself actaully have them. you are robbing yourself of finding what the author’s work ACTUALLY means to you.
First of all,
those who think that there’s a larger cause than getting an A, I actually disagree. School is about the ability to finish homework, papers, and tests to the teacher’s liking. School is literally little about how much information you absorb, but whether or not the teacher feels that you are understanding what he or she expects from you (asiiide from reading the book)
As a freelance writer, I’ve written articles about things I know very little about, and have done more “skimming” and gathering a general idea about the topic, than I have actually spent hours of reading full, detailed previous writings about it. The point is to know the gist, formulate your own opinion, and DO WHAT THE PUBLISHER (and in this case the teacher) WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU.
Most essays in school have very strict guidelines… number of words or pages (and in the case of pages, they are smart enough to detect whether or not you have used an abnormally large font, double-spacing, etc. Don’t even try) They are interested in seeing that you have absorbed the QUESTION THEY ARE ASKING, more so than they are asking if you have absorbed the material itself. May be sad..but true. If you were to write entirely just about the book itself, you’d just be repeating what you read, and not showing any sign of having understood anything.
A person can read an entire book, and still fail to appropriately answer a teacher/professor’s question. And, I have witnessed this several times through freelance writing, when I read through what others wrote. I have seen people that answer a question like “Which color is best to wear in fall?”…with an entire story about how they don’t care which color is best to wear, or their personal stories about things that are significant to the question. The publisher didn’t want to hear that…they simply wanted to know, which color is best, and not whether you agree or disagree with the topic, ETC. ETC. ETC.
That being said, it’s more important to fully understand what the teacher wants, and focusing on those key things, understanding it, and writing a paper that answers their questions… not to prove you read the book.
School is more about following rules, and showing that you have done so— than it is about how smart you are.
For example, I have a good friend who all through high school, was in the same art classes as I was. In many people’s opinions, she was a much better artist than I am, and I think so too. But, her grades always suffered more so than mine. Why? Because although her work always looked aesthetically pleasing to the eye…beyond gorgeous, rarely did she show the teacher that she used the techniques we had been taught. The teacher did NOT care how skilled she was with art, she cared about seeing her following her rules, and applying what was being taught to her work.
Most books in school are given to you to read, BECAUSE of the message hidden inside… not just to kill your time with hours of reading, or to heighten your vocabulary. So, if you understand the gist of the story, you are therefore understanding the message, the key symbols that the writer has used, and therefore understanding the lesson being taught to you.
I do agree that many times, while reading a book, you become to engulfed in what is literally being said, and focus less on the key points. Doing a paper the way this guy does, in reality, is doing everything OPPOSITE or skimming over minor details… it helps you to recognize those details more so than if you focus word for word on what’s being said.
To me, it’s obvious this guy puts a greater effort into writing papers than most people do…
Opposed to those that just read the book, and write a paper assuming that they have absorbed everything the teacher was hoping for.
Just because you read it, doesn’t mean you understand it, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re understanding what the teacher was asking for, nor does it prove you to be more “intelligent”
I could go on about this obviously.
In the end, I like this method, because if I read a book that bored me to death, mindlessly reading through all these crappy details like “he sniffled twice and removed his scarf”— I’d absorb a hell of a lot less than if I actually got to the main point and formulated an opinion about it.
BTW, in all fairness this isn’t a lazy man’s guide…
rather a guide for those with ADD :)
Perfect for me, but not so perfect for those that are truly lazy.
Good write.
Fantastic comments, I am really impressed with the depth to which some readers have gone.
Here are some choice reviews from StumbleUpon, as well:
neepot
This is a fantastic guide to essay writing, and a more-than-decent example of journalism in action. Ravi’s controversial hook is “you can write an excellent Lit essay without reading the book,” but his method is essentially what every Lit professor wants from every student: a studied and cohesive understanding of themes, criticism, social cues, and holistic meaning in fiction. While most of the pages commenter-critics get mired in foolishly refuting the hook and arguing that this process won’t save the writer time, Mr. Vora’s argument is going over their heads. It’s not about saving time, it’s about taking the appropriate path to a true understanding of the work, which is often (one might even argue usually) independent of reading the text. This is fabulously considered and a thoughtfully presented guide to skills I wish every one of my students had.
kakuloo
This is all extremely veritably true. If you ever screw up and forget a paper or something, do exactly what this guide says. The thing is, yes you are BSing, but you are also still learning what the teacher wanted you to learn. Just without reading something that you may or may not enjoy. (Be sure to read it sometime…It probably is pretty cool once you’re not assigned to read it.)
kat
Been wowing lit teachers for years this way. They all think I’m brilliant and well-read, truth is, I don’t remember the last time I read an assigned book.
Oh, and it’s actually less work, a lot less. It takes me about 2 hours to write a BS lit paper if I know NOTHING about the subject matter. 2 hours vs. who knows how many hours trudging my way through dry, archaic literature? Yeah, I’ll take the two hours, thanks.
villagelily
It has been rated “A” by yahoo askers.
SmilesX
Ah, if only all I had to do was write a paper. My Lit teacher gives us the book, gives us a week to read it, then gives a 100 question study guide, test the next day. A lot of the questions that are on the test aren’t even in the study guide. This goes along with 30 worksheets of grammar, due the next day. She says she knows we can get it done, because SHE can do it, as well as work on her Masters. I am a straight A student, but this year, I only have one A (in CHOIR). This class has me failing the rest, because I don’t have the TIME to do other homework, DESPITE what she says.
arbretz
As a teacher, I have to say - if you are going to go to all of this effort, then why didn’t you just read the book? Also, if you have a grasp of the era, the author, the main issues of the book, etc., then really, I don’t care that you haven’t read it. You are still doing better than those who did read the book and didn’t get anything out of it.
If you have a problem with authority, why go to such effort writing the paper and pleasing your teacher? A real rebel would read the book or play, then not write the paper. Cribbing off the critics etc seems to be the worst form of sucking up to authority.
Here’s a hint: the more books you read and essays you write, the easier and quicker both activities become.
One piece of advice that has always stood me in good stead is to find a central conflict or opposition in a book, ie a character’s aims vs his achievements. To me that often seems to be the key to understanding a piece of literature.
I didn’t really read your article. Or any of the comments. But I think I get the gist of it. And I like it. A+.
I love of the people who say this will provide you with a deeper experience of the book and a better understanding of than if you read it. But not really.
If you have not read the book then you have NO experience of it. It is not possible to improve upon this experience you have yet to have. Also, a piece of writing must be analyzed as a whole, writing style included, to be fully understood and appreciated, so something will always be lacking from your research.
I do agree that this is an excellent way to BS a paper and also to further engage yourself in a book you have read. But you’re fooling yourself if you think you have a great comprehension of a book you never opened. You have a generalization formed from the interpretations of others, and that is all. In this case, it is important not to separate the essence of the thing from the thing in itself.
Aren’t you contradicting yourself in your FAQ:
>>First of all, this guide is about not HAVING to read the book. Secondly, you should be doing all of these things in addition to reading the book if you want to have a great paper.
I kind of wrote a research paper like this …
The only reason I did any research was so I’d have a works cited page. I read a lot about Babylon for a few weeks untill I knew a lot about it, but I didn’t write any of it down. Then, on the last weekend, I came up with what I wanted to put down from what I remembered being important, and researched recourses.
I got 92 percent, and was marked down mostly because I forgot to include the Babylonian Creation Poem. (It was lying on my desk at home …) It’s kind of sad, but it was one of five A’s in the class.
I think that the understanding of something is more important than reading the material and writing it down.
I love reading so have never struggled to get through books but it is sometimes very useful to read through books that pull all the themes and ideas out. There is a difference between reading a book because you want to and will enjoy it and reading a book in order to write an essay.
We should all read more and encourage children to read more. The skills given to children in learning to read widen their life far more than anything else you get taught at school. If you’re studying english literature beyond GSCE level and don’t want to read the book then stop taking the course.
Seems to me, with all the research you are doing, you might as well just read the book. You might actually enjoy it. That is, if you enjoy reading at all. Doesn’t really sound like you do. The research time you spend on the paper seems like more than the time it would take to read the book. Besides, doing the research and reading the book is the best way.
I love reading. If you would read the note in the article, you’d see that. In fact, I carry a book practically everywhere I go.
This guide is about books you are MADE to read whether you want to or not, but still want a good grade.
WELL DONE! I’ve been doing these steps for years! An “A” paper always consists of outside research. You’re right, there is little point in reading the book when your Prof really wants an analysis of the text not a summary. Reading the text and making an analaysis without outsider research is STUPID.
You can definitely get a better understanding of a book by reading good external material. I know I have in the past, and I assume it’s even easier these days, because of the Internet.
Great post. Stumbled!
You have great points. And while I agree that you will probably get a more thorough understanding of the book and its themes this way than by simply reading it, I want to add that if you then go back and read the book later for yourself you will be making these ideas sink in even more thoroughly because you will be able to see them “in action” so to speak. But great tips.
all of you guys thats are arguing that reading the book is faster- have any of you SEEN the books we have to read in college?!
i had to read the old testament from genesis to psalms- that gets into the quadruple digits, and with an essay exam only 2 days away doing some research the way the author of this article suggests is a MILLION times faster.
so lets be real. of course reading the book is better, but NOTHING inspires creativity in writing like last minute panic.
props to the author!
I have to disagree with the person who said that going to school is all about following rules & learning how to please. Maybe that’s why there’s so many kiss-asses out there with zero creativity who are incapable of thinking their own thoughts.
If you want a formula for “success”, I guess this works. To me it is like writing about a piece of art you’ve never seen, or a song you’ve never heard. Researching other people’s opinions is not experiencing it for yourself at all. So you may get an “A”, but you’re not any more cultured for it.
If you’re in a jam or hate to read, then I guess this is helpful though.
I started out as a Graphic Design Major and moved to English after my sophomore year. I’m now a Senior and when people ask me about my major I tell them that I major in bullshit. Because essentially that’s what I do. I rarely ever read what is assigned in my classes, and while it can bite you in the butt when it comes to quizzes, class discussion and papers are a breeze if you follow the above. In fact, most every idea you’ve posted when you don’t read the book but want a great paper, I’ve done. Especially the Amazon “search inside” thing. This also works great when coming up with citations and sources when you don’t feel like going to the library. Amazon provides you with full Bibliographic information as well as page numbers and tables of content to fill your in-text citations with.
So. You’ve a really active mind and you are dying to be challenged, but you will only process information if it is your own idea — this probably caused by the sickeningly boring and unchallenging assignments you were given at school. Now, YOU feel you should be in charge of what you learn and how you learn it, but they make the rules and they hold the marbles, so you have to play their game . . and earn those As. And you are smart enough and cheeky enough to want to beat them at their own game. Hence your explanation. Educators must understand that to develop and maintain a thirst for learning, their students have got to follow their own curiosity. They can be the guides and the cheerleaders and lay down the challenges. You were dying to show these educators that you were up to the assignment and show how good you are at writing, and yes, you probably are, but it appears that you just cannot . . cannot . . read and write material on someone else’s terms. You have probably been very badly bored by poor learning assignments, and incredibly dull exercises involving lots of rather irrelevant material. You sort of wasted your talents by doing the above though. Boy do I relate to your assignment aversion. Left school every day thinking, “there’s got to be a better way”.
I’m sorry, I have a hard time taking the slack advice of a graphic artist who promotes not doing homework.. Draw on!!
exceptional work here, i remember using most of the steps show here .. i didn’t not do as much of the work but i got buy with my A and could careless about that A+ . Keep up the good work you have a talent for writing
You’ve followed your own advice in writing a post on a controversial topic, picking a side to your argument, and arguing it strongly. Bravo.
You have a nice blog going!! I wish I had read such blogs in my student days.
-app2usadvisor
Good info easier than reading the book if it is of decent length. This is easier for lay people so stfu other retards out there.
I have a Masters degree in Literature from Durham University in the U.K. which is considered by the Sunday Times university ratings to be the finest English department in the country. There are two ways to successfully BS an essay… One is via all the research mentioned here, but that was always a little bit close to actually writing the essay properly to me (though it does have the obligatory lack of time spent in the awful university library, for which i congratulate you!) The way I personally went about it was to ensure that I had a reasonable understanding of the plot of a book (half hour skim through, picking out anything that looked salient) then, as you’ve said, closely addressing the question set. Then what you do is make a fistful of points in your head (doesn’t matter if they’re strong points, that’s what lit’s about!) Charge headlong into these points (a 3000 word essay can be written on five half baked ideas)and whenever necessary simply flick through the text to find a quote that seems like it fits (even if it doesn’t perfectly fit you can always slightly adjust your point to suit the closest quote you could find.) You’ll find that using this technique you can easily write a passing grade MA dissertation (10,000 words) in four days (from scratch) with time left to read over and make sure your written style is coheret and persuasive. The key is to never, ever sound like you’re BSing. Sound authoritative and confident at all times; The weaker you feel your point is the more aggressively you should champion it. The only reason I didn’t receive the top grade in my masters was that I wrote it with absolutely NO critical material (”according to such and such”, or “so and so said in an 1867 study that” etc) This technique is particularly useful if you pick oddball titles or texts that markers may not be entirely familiar with. English is supposed to be fun, and writing in this way gives you a hell of a thrill, and you end up genuinely seeing texts in lights that you maybe never would have if you’d relied heavily on research etc.
I spend so much time trying to discern the rules and patterns of academic requirements. This was truly insightful. As an A student but also an advocate for a school system that is more attuned to each student’s talents (in a perfect world you could decide the course of your learning as soon as you learn to read and write) I see your guide as proof of intelligence outside the rigid structures of the system.
In other words: Good job, dude.
Hah! Great blog, I’ll admit, and I might try it out. Its strange though, I do almost the exact opposite. I enjoy reading but can never be bothered to go through all the analytical stuff, so I end up just reading the book and lsitening to what ever the teacher says that might be useful, and it seems to work for me.
Ah well, each to his own.
You almost sneaked by me with this one. It is possible that you did not read that book in question, but you DID -study- it. If you later also read it, you went into the reading with a well-informed view of it.
I dealt with “No Exit” in a high school philosophy class (”Seminar in Ideas”) for college credit. Piece of cake. We had to read the major work of two different philosophers per week and then defend them orally for 5 minutes on Friday. I drew the short straw with “No Exit”. When badgered about his definition of hell, I replied with a quote. The teacher denied the quote and there was a frantic scramble as first I, and then others, feverishly searched for it in the book. Another student found it for me.
Do you recall how Sartre defined hell?
I do. But then, I read the book.
I agree that you don’t have to read a book to get a good grade, but I don’t believe there is really any point in taking a class and bull shitting your way through it just to get a good grade. I maintained a 3.8 GPA and was very happy with it because I learned what I wanted to learn when I took a class. For example… No Exit was a good book… I almost read half of it. But i took so much from the conversations about existentialism my class had, I didn’t care that I got a C on the test or what have you.
Grades are just people in power exerting their power. And this site is helping them keep their power.
That’s a lot of work. Why not just read the books?
Totally agree with this article, well written. English professors honestly seem to want to be challenged, it’s a bit of what they live for. I BSed my way through high school English classes without as much effort as this, and still passed, with A’s, in honor classes. My last paper of senior English was to be an overview of what I had learned, not only through 12th grade English, but English as a subject throughout my life. I wrote it on how I felt I had never deserved my A’s, as I had put very little effort, and only reguritated what my teacher wished to hear. His comment: “You were right, your last paper was more in the realm of C than the A I gave you. Thank you for the insight.”
Just tell them what you want to hear, because the world doesn’t care if you ‘learn’ or ‘understand’ they want the paper that says you completed and did well.
You only get out of school what you put into it. If you do not read the assignment, and do not put thought into it, why on earth are you even going to school? I’m sure there are some nice trades you could look into. There people would TELL you what to do, and you wouldn’t be put upon to, god forbid, express your opinion or think!
The only problem I have with this post is the obviously exaggerated claim that as a high school student you were assigned a 21 page paper in English. Even in the fourth and final year of my honours English program I was NEVER assigned a paper over 20 pages in length. Unless, of course, your page margins and font type and size could be tampered with.
Something you neglected to mention in your fail safe essay writing tips is to never get caught in a lie/generalization/inaccurate or vague fact. More often than not, Profs. will fail you on principle. They are hardly ALL the egotistic drones you paint them to be.
I found out how to write papers like this in high school. I always read the books, because I enjoy reading, but I usually had a hard time picking out the themes and important ideas. My teachers said they would know if you used Sparknotes, but I always made an A+ on all my papers I wrote based off of resources like that.
I always used to write papers like this in college and got A’s too. But I would always read the books too because 1) I enjoyed reading, 2) I felt guilty about not reading, and 3) There would always be specific questions about the text in any exams or tests we had. But like some of the other posters said, you would probably learn more about the book by doing all the background research.
Thank you!
I just got two essays back today. Amazing. 94 and 100 % Didn’t follow your guide exactly, but I took the basic principals and applied them to myself. Thanks again :)
honestly,people like this really piss me off. Don’t take on English classes or any major that requires writing if you don’t have at least an interest in lit. This cheapens the whole system for those of us who earn our As. Instead of going over opinionated assessment after opinionated assessment,an actual student should want to think for themselves and get something out of the near $100,000 they are paying to communicate with profs., rather than take advantage of them. It feels better when you earn a grade than BS your way into it. I’ve done both, and now that I’m paying for it, i respect my assignments much more.
Just a word to the wise–by many schools’ standards (including mine), using sources such as Cliffsnotes, Sparknotes, or even Wikipedia can count as plagiarism. The consequences for using these sources can be very severe, depending on your school.
You should do all this AND read the book. Refusing to read something just because your teacher/professor assigned it to you is not exactly the most courageous way of sticking it to authority. You’re just denying yourself the experience of reading some literature that you might otherwise really appreciate.
I like almost everything you’ve written here. The only critique I have is regarding the title you’re giving to the process you describe. I really wouldn’t call this bullshitting. I call it good writing.
I’m an adjunct English professor at a large state school in the southeast, and you remind me of my more advanced students. Many of them admit to me that they aren’t good writers, they’re just “good at bullshitting.” Call it what you will, this process is exactly how I teach my students to write. Writing is a process, and what you have written here teaches that idea.
I can’t necessarily agree with you about not reading the book; it really would enhance the paper that much more. Reading a book should be cathartic, or at least experiential, and experiences like this can really make an essay sing.
As much as it pains me to admit it, however, I didn’t read a book in high school and “bullshitted” several remarkable essays. Regardless, thanks for this, and I hope your readers take seriously your definitive guide to bullshitt– I mean, good writing.
Work is simple and best composed when a mentor explains it clearly. Why aren’t you a professor?
You know, I’ve basically adapted and mastered the very same skill. I’m not quite sure everyone is able to do this same thing though. Speaking for myself, I know when I read a) it has to be something that I want to read and finish or else I lose interest rather quickly, b) the thought reading a five-hundred page book just doesn’t excite me as much as a NCAA Basketball Championship analysis on ESPN does. I never studied, I didn’t read a book front to back from the third grade until I was in jail at the age of twenty-six, and had nothing better to occupy my time. Yet I maintained excellent grades and played sports, all while holding down a thirty hour per week job.
A little trick I used many times was reading the epilouge, reading the back of the book, the first chapter, a chapter in the middle, and the last couple of chapters. If you pay attention in class, you will be filled in on the rest of the details and know what they’re talking about. If the book is read by you only it gets a bit more tricky, but I just used to fluff the parts I didn’t know.
This worked great for me until one year in college I was duped by a rather tenured college professor. He gave us a list of possible books to do a ten-sentence thesis and have turned in to him next week in class. Well I didn’t even make it to the library until two days before the report was due, and it sat in the back of my car until I remembered it just before class (on my way to go to class). So I hurried to the computer lab, flipped the book over, re-worded the script on the back and turned it in. The grades were given back to us the next week and I’ll be damned if I didn’t get a 98% on it, with a note saying it was the best work I had done all year. Other students I spoke with who actually read the book and took the time to think about it, basically thought too hard and over three quarters of the class received F’s. I thought I had won the battle, but boy was I wrong. The following week he surprised us with a pop quiz which had us write an essay on how the book I read pertained to the historical factors we had been studying in class. There was no bullshitting at this because I couldn’t even remember what the name of the book was and it was a complete disaster. Final grade on the paper was counted as 30% of my final grade. Finished with a D, but I tell you I learned a valuable lesson that day. Don’t cheat yourself. Education is what you make of it.
I’m a junior in high school taking an AP Lit class. Oddly enough, this is exactly how I end up writing essays for those damn books that I keep receiving. I have read only one book so far this entire year in school (out of 7 so far), and I’ve gotten an A on every essay I’ve written on them, just by following these steps. I don’t like reading these books, and I never will, especially when they are forced on me.
READ THE DAMN BOOK!
People need to quit half-assing things and just DO IT.
I’m sure you can skate by on many things, without actually having to put forward a lot of effort, but only if you’re interested in designated sheet of paper, rather than your own intelligence.
This worked well for me in high school. I got nothing but A’s on almost every paper. Juts don’t get to comfortable doing this as in college this trick doesn’t work. Seriously if you try this in college you might fail.
The advice you gave is really good. Some of the things you mentioned are the pointers teachers give too, but never all of them.
I also think that not reading the book, but still trying to understand it may be harder, but better in the long run, because you only remember what’s truly important.
If they are assigned in school, they are after all meant to be educational and not entertaining. (mostly)
I have to agree with the comments above. Who are you kidding? If you’re going to waste your time “BSing” your way through college why even go!? Why waste the money!? You think this is some cosmic guide to writing papers but you’re only cheating yourself if you don’t read the books. For someone who doesn’t like authority, life isn’t about grades and then what have you accomplished….. Nothing. All you have to show for your paper is a grade. The literature we’re “forced” to read is recommended for a reason and usually offers astounding insight on life. You’re only fooling yourself if you think this is a better way to write a paper.
I agree one-hundred percent with your article. I am just about to go into my senior year and last year I made similar discoveries as you did. Up until last year, I thought I was terrible at writing. Then my English teacher gave me some really positive comments, and it turns out I enjoy it now.
And teachers really can smell bullshit. Either you read what they asked and bother to understand it or have someone/something else explain it to you. Reading the book will do nothing for you unless you can understand it.