Ravi Vora

Sometimes it’s hard to support someone’s dream without feeling left behind. Other times it can feel like their dream is not at all what you had hoped it would be.

There are ways to feel like you’re part of the dream and have a positive influence, though.

From this experience, and as a big dreamer myself, I learned a few vital ways to help someone achieve their big dream whether or not you can give them the leg up they need.

1. Be specific when you criticize. Make sure you tell them exactly what you think they need to improve upon. Saying “there’s something wrong, I just can’t put my finger on it” is about as useful as having a third eyebrow.
2. Find the positive. Always think about the positive effects. At least they have drive, a goal, and are doing something.
3. Encourage, encourage, encourage. Encourage. It’s so important to give them encouragement from day 1 of their big dream. If you’re there always saying they can do it, no matter what, you’re going to become part of their dream. Why? Because it rests on the support system of knowing you’re there pushing them to succeed.
4. Do some research for them. Even if it’s simply finding something related to their dream, they will appreciate it. The fact that you are finding new things for them and are learning about their interest will improve your relationship and standing with them greatly.
5. Contact someone who has succeeded at their dream. If someone contacted Brad Pitt and asked him a few questions for me, or dropped my name, I would be insanely happy. As an aspiring actor it would make me feel connected to my dream. When you can make someone feel connected to their dream through you, you’ve made them realize how much you’re supporting them.
6. Validate, validate, validate. No matter what their big dream is, they know they’re taking a huge risk. There are so many variables and potential fears of success, they need to know they’re doing the right thing.
7. Be selfless. Think about their dream in their point of view. So what if it doesn’t include you? If you can give without needing to take, you will be supporting their dream and they will remember your kindness in turn.
8. Sometimes the only way to learn is the hard way. Sometimes people have to do it before they realize you were right. So, let them. Some people will drop out of college or quit their job to pursue their dream. They might find they need to go back, or they might find it was the right decision. Either way, they will learn and grow from the experience.
9. To be involved you have to be helpful. If you just sit idly by or nay-say, you’re not going to get anywhere. In fact, you might fuel them in the wrong direction because of their defiance. Instead, try to help out where you can, even if it’s just baking cookies on a long night for them, or doing an errand for them so they have more time. They will remember your kindness, even for the little things.
10. Don’t be jealous. You can live your dream too, don’t be jealous of their success. Just think, when they are better at what they do, they can help you just like you helped them.
11. Find something they need before they know they need it. They have a lot on their plate, they might miss some of the minute details. So, do some forward thinking and they will thank you for it greatly.
12. Give them space. Sometimes they just need room. If you constantly badger and help them, they might not realize you’re doing so much. They won’t take it for granted when you give them some time off from your helping hands.

If you can start to do all of these things, you’ll become part of their big dream without directly having to influence it. If you can directly influence it, however, they would appreciate immensely. Like Jessica Simpson’s father became her manager, he now is tied very closely to her dream and gets quite a large paycheck.

Who knows? Maybe you can support the dreams of others and they will support you right back.