Ravi Vora

I know from personal experience that you don’t even have to read the book to get an A.

I barely read a single book (mainly because I have a problem with authority) I was “assigned” to read throughout high school and college and still got a 4.0 in every English class I’ve ever taken.

How I Learned to Write

When I was told to read a book it was almost impossible for me to get through the first couple pages. So, like every slacker student, I quickly figured out how to bullshit.

Not only did I bullshit, but I did it with style.

My junior year of high school I was assigned an enormous final project of comparing two deeply philosophical plays (Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf and Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit) and researching their similarities. Not only did I not read either book, but I wrote a 21 page paper riddled with quotes detailing every intricacy between the two books.

The grade I got back? An incomplete.

Why? Because they accused me of plagiarism because my ideas didn’t seem like they could have possibly been written by a 16-year old boy.

After I explained to them that the paper had been written by me and had not been taken from some unknown scholar, they gave me an A. Then I started figuring out how I wrote a paper so well without having read more than a summary of the two plays. Here’s what I came up with.

10 steps to writing a great paper without ever reading the book

1. Analyze the assignment. If you’re given a question that is vague and open-ended, then the professor is looking for insights and ideas. On the other hand, if it’s more of a detailed question, the professor is probably trying to hone your analytical skills. Make sure you thoroughly pick the question apart before you start writing.
2. Get an idea of what you’re doing. At least read the summary of the book. Here are a few good sources:
   • Cliff’s Notes
   • Spark Notes
   • Pink Monkey
   • Or an aggregator like Free Book Notes which searches all of the above sites plus a ton more
   • If all else fails, try Wikipedia.
3. Find the era the book was written in and find relations. If the book you’re reading was written during the Holocaust, there might be a relation between that time and the swastika on the main character’s arm. Make sure you do a little research about the time period so you don’t miss vital themes.
4. Find out a bit about the author. If your author is someone like George Orwell, you might have a politically charged allegory on your hands. Edgar Allen Poe? Probably a drug infused ode to a lost lover. Whatever is going on in the author’s life at the time will affect their work.
5. Look for themes. This is the most important step to making your paper stand out. If from your summary you find that all blue-eyed characters are evil and all brown-eyed characters are good, then that says something. Find the underlying theme of your project and find a way to tie it into the assignment.
6. Get a basic knowledge of the main characters. There really is no need to remember their names (unless their name is Jesus or something), but only their roles. In fact, I had an English professor that let us just write the first initial of the character’s name and then a line to indicate the rest of it.
   

   One time had forgotten the main character’s name and went up during a written test and said to the teacher, “I forgot how to spell the main character’s name.”

   To which she replied, “That’s ok, just write the first letter and then a line, I’ll know who you’re talking about.”

   Calmly I said, “That’s the thing. I forgot the first letter.”

   Whatever character you focus on, you should figure out their purpose and how they fit the storyline, then follow the themes they portray.

7. Validate your point. You have to use quotes and instances to make your point actually hit home. Otherwise you’re rambling and putting “fluff” into your paper, which makes it suck. So how do you find instances and quotes?
   • Amazon’s Search Inside. First find your book, then using the Search Inside, you can look for a specific phrase or word. The clever system will give you every page the word or phrase shows up on.
     
     
   • Listen to whoever’s giving the assignment. They will probably give a hint in discussion or assigning the paper.
   • The question. Check out what the question is asking and see if it leads to any specific happenings in the book.
   • The summaries. When you read through the summary of the book make sure to take note when things happen so that you can go back and pull quotes from that specific section.
8. Make connections to deeper levels. Here’s where the good stuff comes. Once you have your theme, connect it to outside sources. Make it grand and make it poignant. Whether the character’s identity represents the lack of identity or the story is an allegory of the Bible, you have to make your point stick.
9. If you know the grader’s viewpoint, argue for it or against it STRONGLY. Obviously, they have heard their own argument for however they view the novel. Then they’ve heard every brown-noser’s uninspired interpretation that fits exactly what they were told to believe about the novel.
   

   One of my English professors thought every story had an underlying theme about sexuality. So I wrote my paper supporting virginity and purity. I admit, it wasn’t the best paper I’ve ever written, but she gave me an A because she had never heard any of the ideas I posed before in that context.

   A good professor will not only welcome opposing viewpoints, but also give you a better grade for TRYING to write a difficult paper. Just make sure your argument is solid and packs a punch.

10. Cut out the fat. Professors are smart. They can smell bullshit a mile away. So don’t ramble on about an off-topic idea you have. Keep it close to the summary you have and make sure you connect ideas.

Even if you read the book, these main points are going to save you so much time and effort. Plus, you will always get a better grade if you use these steps.

Note: I don’t advocate NOT reading. In fact, quite the opposite. Just make sure you’re going to enjoy what you read so that it will have a positive impact on your life.

FAQ

1. Wouldn’t it be easier and faster just to read the book? First of all, this guide is about not HAVING to read the book. Secondly, if you insist on reading the book and you want to have a great paper, you should be doing everything I mentioned anyway. So, you’re really doing twice the work for the same grade. Finally, please feel free to read some of the awesome comments on this post that address this issue.
2. Why should I take the writing advice of a graphic designer? If I hadn’t already covered this in the article and my grades, then this could possibly persuade you: I write screenplays, this blog, novels, and short stories. In addition, I edit, proof, and write national press releases and publications.
3. Isn’t this cheating? Absolutely not. In fact, like many of my readers have stated, you will have a better understanding than someone who just reads the book and you will be able to formulate and create connections far beyond the things you read about the book. Cheating would be going to a site online and copying a paper you didn’t write.

Now go own the world.

-Ravi Vora

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